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Time for another #SummerSingle post from a reader’s email! I really can’t tell you how much fun it’s been looking through all the emails I’ve received. You guys are awesome. And, like I’ve written to many of you in the past few weeks, I’m sorry it often takes me forever to respond. I’m gonna try to be better at that. Please know it’s not a reflection of my appreciation, just my insane schedule.

I got an email from Joey (female, like Dawson’s Creek) from Arkansas. Here’s what she had to say, which had me chuckling quite a bit:

Ruth, I need some advice! I’m new to this whole online dating thing and need some direction. If there is someone that I’m in interested in and want to contact them, what do I say? If I send them a message how do I start? Like, do I just tell them I was impressed with their profile and let them take it from there, do I ask questions, do I tell them their hot? What do I say?!? (Just kidding about the hot thing by the way :)) Any advice you can give would be great! All of my friends are married so I don’t have anyone that can give me constructive advice. Thank you for being awesome!

PickUp LineOh, Joey! Been there! With regard to online dating, I’m over the whole “wait for the man to initiate the conversation” thing, because that basically means “wait forever.” So I’m absolutely open to reaching out to a man first. I mean, it’s online dating. What’s the worst that could happen? He doesn’t respond? Big deal. He writes back and calls me ugly? DELETE. Done. Moving on.

Your question rings loud, though: When we do reach out, what should we say?

I don’t know if I’m the best person to answer this question, actually, because many of my initiations go unreciprocated. I usually try to find something in their profile and call it out, so they know I’ve read it. I try to find something unique or clever or cute. It’s hard… and I’m a writer!

Perhaps your fellow readers have some better ideas. Any guys out there that were impressed with particular emails they received online? And you girls: what do you usually write? Or what do you enjoy hearing from a man in an online dating setting?

Let the inundation of pathetic pickup lines commence!


P.S. Got a dating story or question? Reach out! You could be featured in a #SummerSingle post. Whoop whoop!