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Well, it’s Day 10 of the “12 Days of Single” blog challenge. In between slaving away in the kitchen making Ukrainian meat perogies (I only lasted 45 minutes) and doing some last-minute Christmas shopping at the mall (I only lasted one hour), I decided to unpack some items I recently brought back from my Nashville storage unit. These boxes had been packed away for quite a few years so this could easily have turned into an episode of Storage Wars. I could have basically become a millionaire tonight! I didn’t, but I could have.

Among piles of old bank statements and electricity bills, I found a real treasure that brightened up my day. Several years ago while I was living in the Music City, my hairdresser set me up on a blind date with a guy named Gilbert. Apparently, during my first phone conversation with him, I let my good friend and roommate Michelle listen in and take notes. Why? Who knows? Perhaps because I knew subconsciously that years later I would blog about it.

So for today’s post, I will simply write down what Michelle wrote down, verbatim. I don’t remember or understand half of this, but apparently it happened. And I think you’ll realize soon enough why it didn’t ever work out between ol’ Gilly and me. Enjoy!


image (1)Total Talk Time = 57 minutes

Michelle’s Observations:

      • Gilbert can out talk Ruth. Ruth Rutherford.
      • The trailer for Wild Hogs is more interesting than Gilbert.
      • I will never be able to see What’s Eating Gilbert Grape the same way every again.
      • Ruth is more into her brand new chocolate-dipped Reese’s cookies than Gilbert’s one-way discussion on the plight of modern-day music.
      • Ruth has finally found her Valentine!
      • Ruth Grape. I love it!
      • Michelle will use Ruth’s pain to get free concert tickets.
      • I think Ruth is in physical pain.
      • Michelle has taken more notes during Ruth’s phone call than her entire college career. Granted, she only took four semesters at Nashville State.
      • He’s against soap operas… “Can you go get my cookies?” – Ruth

imageDirect Quotes from Gilbert:

      • “That’s why you still have these oldies stations on and they’re still making money!”
      • “This is kind of a personal story. I don’t know if you have time for this.”
      • “They were wanting to shoot in graveyards.”
      • “On top!”
      • “Visions are different than your dreams because they happen when you are awake.”
      • “When I started working in the biz…”

Direct Quotes from Ruth:

      • “I need that. I’m tired of lugging mine around.”
      • “Charlie Chaplin’s youngest daughter? Wow.”
      • “So how are you a computer guy?”
      • “Oh really? I love Disney World.”
      • “That’s funny. That’s awesome.”
      • “My hairdresser loves you.”
      • “Uh huh. Well. Yeah. Yeah. Right.”
      • “I don’t own a diary.”
      • “It’s a very slow process with soap operas.”
      • “Wow. You’re like a rock star.”
      • “Yeah. I know. Yep. Uh huh. Mm hmm. Yeah. Exactly. Oh gosh. Right. Exactly. I know.”

Ruth’s lame excuse to get off the phone = “Um, my battery is dying so I’m gonna have to go.”



{Stay tuned for the remaining installments of the โ€œ12 Days of Singleโ€ blog challenge. Iโ€™ll be posting a new blog every day from now until Christmas!}