, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Abraham Lincoln once said, “Everybody likes a compliment.” They make us feel good. They pump us up. We suddenly start standing taller and breathing deeper. We are special.

I’m not talking about empty compliments either. I’m not talking about that string of comments that follow the duck-faced selfie you just posted on Facebook. (Seriously. Stop.) And I’m not talking about the weak “great” you hear when you beg your friends (or boyfriend) to tell you how you look in your new jeans.  I’m talking about the real deal — the stuff that matters.

Matthew Hussey, UK relationship expert and all around smart guy, recently shared his thoughts on this — from a guy’s perspective, of course. I’ve been keeping tabs on Matthew since I saw him on that dating show Eva Longoria produced. Honestly, can’t remember the name of the show. It wasn’t great. But Matthew was a dating coach on it and clearly shined brighter than all the contestants combined.

Here’s a video* of Matthew talking about “The 3 Compliments Guys Never Get Tired of Hearing.”

Isn’t his accent dreamy, ladies?

To recap Matthew’s claims:

The 3 Compliments Guys Never Get Tired of Hearing

1) “You’re such a guy.”

This doesn’t even sound like a compliment — but it makes him feel like a man, and that’s all that matters.

2) “I love that you make me feel so safe.”

Again, this is a compliment that plays to his masculinity, but in a more serious way. Now he feels like he’s strong around you, and will look for opportunities to make you feel safe as a woman.

3) “You’re so great. I feel bad for other women that I got you.”

If you’re with someone, make them feel amazing around you. Immediately he now feels like the most special guy in the room.

So here I sit on Day 6 of the “12 Days of Single” blog challenge, alone in a Virginia hotel room just typing away on my laptop. Freshly showered and pampered with new Origins lotions and body creams while enjoying the glow of a candle next to my bedside, I’ve been thinking about Matthew’s words. Around the holidays, it’s easy to feel lonely and wish I had a man to say those lovely things to, particularly now that I know they’re foolproof (despite the terrible grammar in #3!). But I can’t help but thinking about the flipside — you know, the ladies. What about us?

You’re in luck! Because it’s Christmas and I feel snowy and cinnamony and generous, I’m going to give you all a glimpse into the precious mind of a woman. Get psyched, people!

The 3 Compliments Women Never Get Tired of Hearing

1) “I love your eyes,” and / or “You have the prettiest smile.”

More than “hot ass” or “nice rack” or even “sexy legs,” women really want to know you think they’re gorgeous, beyond their bodies or their sex appeal. There’s something about complimenting a woman’s eyes or her smile that make her feel special and truly beautiful. They’re body parts that were hers from the beginning; they’re part of her identity. Call them out and she will instantly melt. (Side note: Compliment us only if you mean it. We can spot a phony from a mile away. These aren’t magic words that work every time, but with the right intent they go a long way.)

2) “I’m the luckiest guy in the world.”

Oh man, this one is sexy. When a man says this, he’s essentially saying, “I’ve got the best woman in the entire world. I cannot believe it.” There’s a sense of gratitude, a sense of true appreciation. It’s adorable and it makes us feel awesome.

3) “You are so sweet.”

Every girl wants to be thoughtful and sweet. Even the tough girls who aren’t overtly feminine still want to be acknowledged for their sweetness when it counts. More importantly, for a man to call it out means that we’ve reached him where it counts — emotionally. That’s so important to women. When we do something nice or unique or crafty or special for you, let us know it. It means more than you know.


{Stay tuned for the remaining installments of the “12 Days of Single” blog challenge. I’ll be posting a new blog every day from now until Christmas!}

*The video and summary of Matthew Hussey’s ideas can be seen on this blog post on his website. Follow this Brit on Twitter (@matthewhussey) and Facebook!