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Today’s Day 4 of my self-imposed “12 Days of Single” blog challenge. It was honestly a great day. I spent it in Pasadena, California, for work… stuck in exciting, intriguing, and challenging all-day meetings. I loved it! The 80-degree weather helped, too. Unreal! I even took advantage of being away from the snow and ice for a day by eating dinner outside underneath the stars… in December!

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As I sat there alone, I reveled in the warm breeze, the cozy atmosphere, and the adorable poodle mix just chillin’ by his owner on the other side of the outdoor patio. I thought about how lucky I am to be able to experience little pleasures in life. I thought about how just because I’m single doesn’t mean I need to stay home alone and eat TV dinners.

So, naturally, I ordered steak.

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At that moment, I thought the steak was what today’s blog would be about — enjoying life now instead of waiting to enjoy it when we’ve reached some elusive relationship status. The topic had potential and I already began drawing mental parallels that I would later transcribe into a post.

My day has since taken a turn for the worse and my blog topic completely changed.

You see, I’m currently writing from the United Club — my new favorite place on Earth — at Los Angeles Airport. Headed home on a red eye tonight. I breezed from the cab through check-in and then through security. It was literally easy, a rare feat when it comes to airport travel these days. I couldn’t believe my good fortune! But then I unexpectedly witnessed the most despicable display of humanity I’ve seen in a long time. I feel dirty just thinking about it.

It all happened while I was checking into the United Club — which, if you’re unfamiliar, is a waiting lounge reserved for United passengers of a certain travel level (e.g., frequent flyers) or girls who get free access passes from their generous moms (e.g., yours truly). Inside the club you find lounge chairs, wifi, reading materials, refreshments, and the feeling of being an almost-Jay-Z-level VIP. It’s a great place to rest up, particularly if you’ve got a long layover.

I walked up to the front desk when I heard a commotion. Two of the ladies working behind the desk were confronting a young man who was standing right next to me. He was around my age, well dressed with fancy gadgets in hand and a nice bag. From what I gather, he tried to sneak into the club and the ladies — just doing their job — asked them to leave.

He started to yell vulgar things at them.

“F*** you.”

[Wait a minute… did he really just yell that to this customer service agent?]

One of the ladies behind the desk responded that they were simply following the rules.

“Suck my d***.”

At this point, I had to jump in.

“Whoa! Calm down!” I said, sternly.

But by this point, the coward had retreated through the exit doors and one of the ladies was already on the phone with security.

I apologized to the other lady for his actions and she simply said,

I just can’t believe anyone would talk to a lady like that.

My heart sank.

This guy (I can’t even call him a man, because he isn’t one) is probably considered pretty cool in his circle of friends. He has that look. I bet all the ladies like him. I bet he has sex all the time. I bet he’s popular with his friends. I bet his family thinks he’s a sweetheart. I bet he’s a mama’s boy and his mother thinks he’s the best son ever.

But do any of those people know how he treats women when they’re not around? What would they think if they heard him yell vulgar, demeaning things at complete strangers?

The truth is this happens all too often and it has got to stop. Regardless of circumstance, there’s no excuse for treating another human being like garbage. Sadly, this guy actually believes he’s better than the two women working behind that United counter. It’s not true, but he believes it. And he lashes out at them in a misguided effort to prove it.

As a woman, I can tell you that this guy is the polar opposite of what I’m looking for in a man. He’s not what I’m looking for in a friend or colleague either. So what if he’s cute? So what if he’s got great clothes and nice stuff? He lacks the very basics of a solid character — one of the few things in today’s world that simply cannot be bought.

I want a man who acts the same in front of me as he acts in front of the people he passes on the street. I want a man who respects me and respects others. I want a man who chooses kindness in the face of adversity and forgiveness in the face of hostility. And I want a man who never uses the “F” word… ever. It’s disgusting and crude, and has sadly become an everyday word the 2013 vernacular. Saying it doesn’t make you cooler; not saying it does not make me a prude nerd. I’m hoping there’s someone out there that agrees with me.

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.

Matthew 7:12


{Stay tuned for the remaining installments of the “12 Days of Single” blog challenge. I’ll be posting a new blog every day from now until Christmas!}