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Debbie DownerWell, it’s already almost Wednesday and I still haven’t posted this week. In the spirit of honesty, you should know I feel quite unmotivated. On top of putting in an insane amount of hours at work this week, I’m facing a bad case of writer’s block based solely on lack of material. (Translation: I haven’t had a date in a while.)

But just in the nick of time, just when this little blogger was questioning her commitment to the whole blogging phenomenon altogether — a reader catapulted a nugget of writing gold to me over the Internet.

I love getting emails from readers, and I get them for all sorts of different reasons. Some love my blog and want to thank me for writing something they can relate to. Some hate my blog and think I’m a fraud. Some need dating advice. Some want to give me dating advice. Some think I should date them. (Oh, dear.)

Today, I received an email from Julie in Beantown. Before I get into Julie’s piece of dating glitter, let me say: We stand by you, Julie, and the entire city of Boston right now. We support you!

So let’s get back to Julie’s email. I opened it in anticipation.

I bet she loves my blog and wants to thank me!

I bet she thinks I’m smart and wants dating advice from me!

I bet she wants to know how I got to be so cool!

I soon learned my anticipation was slightly misguided, and ridiculously egotistical.

You see, Julie had read a Boston Innovation article about how far people stretch the truth on their online dating profiles. The article detailed a survey conducted by Whatsyourprice.com, an “online dating auction.” (I can’t vouch for the site or the survey, but let’s throw our journalistic integrity to the wind and just go crazy here.) The survey polled men and women around the country to find out who’s fibbing and who’s telling the truth when it comes to online dating.

Good Will HuntingAnd guess what?! Boston online daters are among the most honest in the nation! How do you like them apples? I smiled. I want only the best for Julie, my new friend from the magical land of Dunkin’ Donuts. And the best includes a man who’s going to be honest and real with her from day one. Here’s hoping her Marky Mark is right around the corner waiting to sweep her off her feet with self-descriptions that represent exactly who he is — no more, no less.

But wait. Stop the cah, ya chowdahead. There’s a whole ‘notha thing goin’ on. Julie wasn’t just writing in so I could share in her newfound elation. She, as any good friend should, was writing with a warning. And it wasn’t a pretty one.

Apparently men in my dear city — the Nation’s capital — are big fat liars. Check out the online dating scene here in Washington, D.C., and you’ll find that 37 percent of men are lying on their profiles. About what? Survey says: mostly career and education.

Oooh, here’s a cute guy! He’s an attorney in Rosslyn.

Truth: He’s a law school dropout living in his mom’s basement.

Hey! This man works at a nonprofit helping kids with disabilities. How sweet is that?

Truth: He donated to a nonprofit once.

This guy graduated first in his class at Harvard!

Truth: He graduated from “Stansbury College, the Haaaarvard of the West.” (Thanks, Jessie Spano.)

Here’s how the results of this obviously-non-scientific-yet-still-thought-provoking survey panned out:

The Most Honest Cities for Online Dating

1. Houston
2. Phoenix
3. Boston
4. Pittsburgh
5. Chicago

1. Charlotte
2. Houston
3. Minneapolis
4. Seattle
5. Phoenix

The Least Honest Cities for Online Dating

1. Washington D.C. (Career & Education) 37%
2. San Francisco (Career & Money Earned) 35%
3. New York (Everything) 34%
4. Philadelphia (Height & Money Earned) 33%
5. Miami (Relationship Status & Height) 31%

1. Las Vegas (Age & Career) 39%
2. Washington D.C. (Career & Education) 37%
3. Atlanta (Age & Weight) 36%
4. Los Angeles (Age & Weight) 35%
5. New York (Age & Career) 33%

Looking at these “results” more closely, it appears that men in D.C. aren’t the only ones with their pants on fire. Survey says that women in my fair city are also big fat liars, with 37 percent of them also lying on their online profiles, mainly about career and education as well. This is disturbing on so many levels.

Whenever I ask someone — man or woman — about the most important character trait in a partner, it’s inevitable that they share the same response: honesty. Yet when it comes to online dating, we take liberties to stretch the truth — or flat-out lie — in order to increase our chances of finding someone great. Because all great relationships are built on a foundation of lies, right?

Lying is becoming all too easy in today’s day and age, particularly with the prevalence of social media and the Internet. And when it comes to dating, it really creeps me out. Let’s not take this survey too seriously. After all, it was “conducted” by “experts” at an “online dating auction.” But let’s still consider how truthful we’re being to others about ourselves — both online and in person.

Because if you put on your profile that you’re a huge fan of the band Dr. Shlomo and the G.I. Clinic, I’m calling you out — you and all your fake hipster friends! 

(Another great installment of Lie Witness News with Jimmy Kimmel!)

Stayin’ true to who I am,