Worst possible day to publish a new blog post? Second only to Christmas day, it’s gotta be Christmas Eve. You’re guaranteed to get close to zero views, because unlike the busy highways and Interstates this time of year, blog traffic is nonexistent around the holidays. And in my opinion, that’s as it should be.
Still, in the face of literary adversity, I remain fearless. Blog traffic? What’s that? I write to write. So to the few, proud and uneventful still reading the blog this week, I do thank you. (Hi, Mom!)
Throughout this entire month, I’ve been reading a ton of blog posts and Facebook status messages and Twitter updates from singles (and about singles). And they’ve become increasingly… well… sad. Even though I am, in fact, single, I’m kind of over it. Whoa whoa! Before you beat me with a lump of coal, let me explain myself.
As we all know, December is a special month filled with Christmas and New Year’s Eve, holiday parties galore, gingerbread houses and peppermint bark, and frustrated parents searching for one more place to hide that dang elf. Underneath all the festivities, December is about love. And for most commoners, that translates to romance. Cards, flowers, chocolates — all sealed with that exciting kiss at midnight as confetti falls and we ring in the new year. Exciting stuff!
But for singles, it doesn’t exactly play out like that. The romance is less tangible, more abstract. It’s shown in the slew of terribly scripted Lifetime and Hallmark Christmas films on constant repeat. It’s felt in (sometimes forced) hugs and kisses from unsuspecting nieces and nephews. It’s eaten in mugs of eggnog and mounds of fruit cake. It’s loathed in comments from drunk uncles and prying aunts about why on Earth we’re still single. But romance, it simply doesn’t exist for us. Not now. Not in the month that counts (some say even more so than February).
And that’s what I’ve been reading all month – about how hard it is, how lonely it is, how rough it is, how sad it is.
Well, friends, I don’t know which beloved children’s character said it first, but I’ll say it again:
It’s time to turn that frown upside down!
So here’s my attempt to talk a little sense into my fellow singles. Because if there’s one time of the year I refuse to be depressed, it’s Christmas!
1. Being single is awesome. Repeat it to yourself. Look in the mirror, do your best Diane Sawyer as you hold up your curling iron microphone, and say it again. Being single is awesome. Because it is. It doesn’t define who you are. It is merely a little something about you, a cherry on top to the million other things that make you who you are — someone truly amazing.
2. Spending time with family is special. We’re all busy. We’ve all got a million things going on. So to take a few days to spend with family is truly special — no matter how big or small your family is, how dysfunctional or really dysfunctional. Embrace this time. Embrace them. Take a moment to sit down with each of them and have a face-to-face, one-on-one chat. Time flies and no one knows the next time you’ll be together. Now is the time.
3. Best Aunt and Best Uncle status is legen– (wait for it) –dary. If you don’t have any nieces or nephews, skip this one or quickly switch your siblings birth control with Tic Tacs. But if you’re like me, being an aunt is life’s biggest blessing. So enjoy it! Laugh, bake cookies, build forts, choreograph dances, and put on elaborate Christmas productions for the rest of the family. (Warning: After you are dressed up in your embarrassing Santa costume made of a cotton-ball-beard and a pillow-stuffed belly, your niece and / or nephew may or may not become incredibly embarrassed and leave you hanging on the living room stage in front of 30 family members waiting for the highly publicized show to begin. True story.)
4. Not having to deal with couples stuff at Christmas is a blessing in disguise. Finding that special gift, wearing the cute outfit, planning that romantic alone time, dealing with the crazy in-laws — it can all take its toll. For us singles, all we have to deal with is waking up long after the rest of the family and strolling downstairs in our pajamas to enjoy an already-made feast of eggs and bacon. Yes, please, and thank you.
5. No one wants to date a Scrooge. Case in point: Buddy the Elf. If you haven’t seen Elf, something is seriously wrong with you. Call a doctor. Go to the emergency room. Or just hit up your Netflix, stat! In this holiday classic, Buddy the Elf — a fellow singleton — comes down from the North Pole and invades the thriving metropolis of New York City. Even though life is tough and it’s really different from his life up North and he doesn’t have any friends — he is constantly a joy to be around. After all, “the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear!” And the result? He gets a girlfriend. You do the math.
Singles, I beg of you! Enough already with the pout fest. The pity party is officially over. You are young (yes, you!), talented, full of energy, and free to enjoy this holiday with the best of ’em. Now, do it!
Wishing you and yours a Merry Christmas!