It seems that lately lots of family, friends and complete strangers have been concerned with what my blogging is doing to my dating life. Or more specifically, what my blog will do to any potential suitors who might find out about it one day. Because if a man were to date me for a while and then find out that I post stories about my romantic adventures online, it might cause an issue or two. Or so they say.
Let’s get real, folks — I’m no idiot. I don’t mention this blog to any of my dates, prospective dates or random men I run into on the Metro. If there’s even a remote possibility that a man could be a match for me, I keep my big, Jersey mouth shut. It’s not easy, since the entire time I’m usually taking mental notes on what I’ll share with my readers later. This is just the nature of being a true writer, I suppose. Comes with the territory.
Well, for all those who’ve expressed concern, your wish/nightmare has come true. Hold onto your seats.
A couple months ago, I started talking to a guy on eHarmony named Nathan. He’s cute, tall, has a good job, and seems to genuinely love God. He even plays guitar (sexy!) and shares my love of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Sigh. I was definitely interested. We went through the eHarmony-mandated steps of communication, which can sometimes draw out the process. Between each step, time can linger, causing interest to wane. It’s a bummer, especially when you’re actually rooting for a match to work out.
This seemed to happen with Nathan. And I was, indeed, bummed. But it’s not like I hadn’t experienced it before. Online dating really is a crapshoot. There are just so many factors out of your control. Sometimes you just have to roll with it. For Nathan and I, a couple weeks went by with no communication, so I sort of assumed the connection had fizzled.
Then, sitting at my desk at work one morning, I received a notification that someone “liked” my Facebook author page. I love when this happens, so I went to check out who my new reader was!
His name was Nathan.
I didn’t think anything of it. There are lots of guys named Nathan in the world.
Then his photo appeared and I gasped. Out loud.
He looks a lot like that guy Nathan I was talking to on eHarmony. That guy that plays guitar and likes mint chocolate chip ice cream…
But it couldn’t be. We were talking anonymously on eHarmony, only known by our first names, Nathan and Ruth. (Kinda has a nice ring to it, don’t ya think? I digress…) This was now my Ruth Rutherford Facebook page — a place where people who read my blog convene. You know, that blog about life, faith and… gulp… dating!
My heart started to beat faster. My worlds were colliding!
I flipped through his Facebook photos and quickly confirmed that this Nathan was the same Nathan — the same guy I’d been matched with on eHarmony had “liked” my Facebook author page.
I guess the cat was out of the bag. He had to know I was the same Ruth, right? My fear was confirmed when I logged into eHarmony and noticed that he had viewed my profile that very day — after two weeks of no activity.
So, the day I found out that eHarmony Nathan and blog reader Nathan were one and the same, my mind was running a mile a minute. Would he contact me on eHarmony? Did he find my blog and read it without knowing it was me at first? Did he find my blog through some amazing detective skills on his part? (If so, I’m impressed.) Is he completely freaked out by the fact that I blog about dating?
I told a couple friends about the news, and laughed a lot that day. My sister thought it was hilarious. With 15 years of marriage (and just about as many years of wanting me to get married) under her belt, she advised me to wait a week or so to see if he’d contact me. If he did, it’d turn into a great post about a guy who’s not scared of an outspoken, opinionated girl who likes to publish intimate details about her dates without them knowing. If he didn’t contact me, it’d turn into a great post about a guy who’s really freaked out by an outspoken, opinionated girl who likes to publish intimate details about her dates without them knowing. Either way — blog material!
So every day after that, I checked my email. Checked my eHarmony inbox. Checked my actual mailbox, in case this guy’s detective skills were beyond amazing and he somehow found out where I lived. (Subsequently checked who’s currently on the America’s Most Wanted list, just in case.)
How did this saga end?
You guessed it: Nathan ran away. Poor guy, really. I put myself in his shoes and wonder what I would do. What if I was starting to chat with a guy I liked, and then suddenly found out he liked to post stories about his dates on the Internet without them knowing? Sounds really creepy when you put it that way!
But, in the immortal words of Popeye, “I yam what I yam and that’s all what I yam.” I’m a writer. I’m honest. I tell it like it is. If I didn’t, this blog would be Lame with a capital “L.” And I would simply be living life without being true to myself.
I kind of wish Nathan would’ve taken a chance and asked me out, even knowing what I do in my spare time on this little blog. What’s the worst that could happen? I might write about a date that didn’t go so well.
What he’s missing out on is the best that could happen — him getting to meet a great gal like me, and me writing a really positive, upbeat, fun post about our amazing dates. Then dating for months, getting engaged, tying the knot, honeymooning in the Caribbean, and consequently closing down this dang blog forever. (Just kidding, readers! I won’t shut down this blog just because I get married. That’s against everything I stand for! I will just start writing about things like sex, babies, and my husband’s annoying habit of leaving his dirty socks on the living room floor. It will be riveting.)
So Nathan, if you’re reading this, I guess your gut instinct was right — I did blog about you.