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(*This post is the conclusion of a 3-part series on speed dating. Click here to read the story from the beginning!)

If you read my blogs once in a while, you may have learned of my recent speed dating escapades, an adventure rich in experience and fruitless in romance. (Read more here.)

If you’re a faithful reader, you also know about speed dater Michael’s courageous and cowardly attempt to ask both me and my friend out for dates on the same day. (Yuck!) (Read more here.)

Well, I thought this story was over. I had a great time at speed dating, I had a great laugh at Michael’s expense, got some great blog material out of it, and I’m moving on. I know I talk a big game and wrote that I should email him back with a witty comeback, but I never did. Silence is sometimes the best medicine. Plus, I really hate being mean to anyone.

Until today, that is.

Check out what showed up in my inbox this afternoon.

————————————————
From: Michael
Date: Tue, Jan 24, 2012 at 2:36 PM
Subject: Speed dating event @ Wisdom
To: Ruth
 
Hey Ruth,
 
Hope you had a nice weekend… looks like Obama gives a big speech tonight. Would enjoy getting a Coffee with you this weekend in DC (Sunday afternoon works well)
 
Let me know your schedule and availability to meetup.
 
Cheers,
Michael
————————————————
 

I read the email twice. Is this guy serious?

I immediately did what every girl would do—forwarded the email to Emily. The laughs started again, because relentless Michael had, naturally, emailed Emily as well. Of course, he was a little lazy by the time he got around to her email. (Who knows? Could be the 7th or 8th scheduling email for Sunday dates!) You see, for Emily, he simply forwarded the email he’d sent a week ago and wrote “FYI” at the top.

FYI. As in, FOR YOUR INFORMATION. Huh? That doesn’t even make sense!

Well, Michael, I’ve got a few FYIs for you.

  • For your information, when a girl you met at a speed dating event doesn’t email you back in over a week, she’s not interested.
  • For your information, women deserve to be cherished and flattered, not shoved into your busy dating schedule with no regard for what they actually want.
  • For your information, President Obama is giving his State of the Union address tonight… not a “big speech.”
  • For your information, Sunday mornings are for church! (Something you need to get to!)

I never emailed Michael back after the first shenanigan, although dozens of friends and readers insisted I should. Emily didn’t email him either. But after today’s display of complete cluelessness (and frank rudeness), I just couldn’t help myself.

————————————————
From: Ruth
Date: Tue, Jan 24, 2012 at 2:58 PM
Subject: Speed dating event @ Wisdom
To: Michael
 
Michael,
 
Thanks for the second invitation. I didn’t respond to the first invite because it was quite off-putting to hear from my good friend, Emily, that she had received the exact same cookie-cutter email from you “telling” her where to meet on Sunday, just as you had sent me. And then today you emailed us both again… looking to fill up your Sunday calendar. I don’t know if this method has worked for you in the past, but slotting dates in for brunch and coffee on the same day in your apparently busy dating schedule isn’t exactly the way to woo a woman.
 
Best of luck in your search.
Ruth
————————————————
 

It’s been over six hours since I sent that email and Michael has yet to respond. I don’t imagine he ever will. As my Nashville friends would say: Bless his heart.

~Ruth