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Unless you’re living under a rock, you’ve heard that Kim Kardashian, famous for having a pronounced derrière and a sex tape, got married a couple months ago in a lavish Hollywood extravaganza priced at a reported $10 million. And unless you’re living under an even bigger rock, you’ve heard that she filed for divorce this week—just 72 days after promising “to have and to hold from this day forward until death do us part.”

I’m not a big proponent of fanning the already raging reality inferno that is the Kardashian Klan. I don’t necessarily like them, I absolutely don’t respect them, and I frankly wish the whole phenomenon would just go away. Still, I’m only human, and I’ve been guilty of watching an episode or two, and have even—dare I say it—found the family bond endearing. What can I say? I am weak!

But as much as I admit my love/hate relationship with these fame whores, this week we are strictly on a hate basis. As much as I don’t want my life affected by people I don’t even know, the news of Kim’s quickie divorce really got under my skin.

Marriage is not a decision you make just to wear a nice dress and dance the night away with your friends. It’s not about the hors d’oeuvres and the wedding cake, or which type of champagne to serve with the toast. And it’s not about the guest list, the limousine or the honeymoon.

Marriage is about choosing to make a commitment to cherish and be faithful to the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with. Yes, you heard me right. It’s a choice.

Now, just two days after the big not-so-shocking announcement, Kim is all over the news saying she “can’t believe she has to defend the fact that she married for love.” I wonder why that’s so hard for her to believe? It’s not exactly a mystery what’s important to this girl. But, switching from reality show to actual reality, let’s talk about what is (and should be) important to us.

Even in my simple life, I’ve seen many folks go overboard on their weddings. I see brides-to-be stressed out and crying, fighting with their fiancés over guest lists and party favors, and charging thousands of dollars in unnecessary debt to credit cards just to create their “fairytale wedding.”

And pop culture ain’t helping the cause. The Kardashians aside, television and media fuel the wedding obsession with programs like Say Yes to the Dress, My Fair Wedding and Bridezillas. It’s no wonder girls these days demand two-carat diamond rings and $5,000 wedding dresses!

Well, friends, it’s about time for a reality check. Hold onto your seats, because here it comes.

Marriage is not about money or how many gifts you’ll receive at the reception. It’s not about fame or prestige or publicity–or being the center of attention on your “big day.” It’s not about the cute ribbons you tie on invitations or the rustic mason jars you fill with candles. It’s not even about how beautiful you will look in your engagement photos, save-the-date photos, wedding photos or honeymoon photos (ouch!).

Marriage is a commitment. It’s a choice. And it’s forever.

Kim spent $10 million on her wedding and it lasted 72 hours.

Back in 1972, my parents spent $1,800 on their New Jersey wedding and they’re still going strong at 14,782 days.

And my grandparents? They spent about $30 on a potluck dinner and a homemade dress to ring in their nuptials back in 1949.

They just hit 22,930 days… and counting.

You see, when it comes to marriage, the wedding day is not what counts. Let’s not let those few hours cloud what the moment is really all about—making a commitment and meaning it.

~Ruth