Watch this five-minute video message to get my take on the current dating scene, why I write, and what I’m learning along the way!
Born and raised in New Jersey (insert Jersey Shore joke here), I learned early on that I’ve got my own opinions and I like telling people what they are. This has landed me in trouble more times than I can count on one hand, but it has also given me lots of great material for my writing!
Pen and paper have always been my cohorts through the daily battles of life — as editor-in-chief of my high school paper, as a journalism major at Rutgers University, as a struggling songwriter in Nashville, Tennessee, and through over a decade of freelance writing. Along with it came the typical freelancer’s array of odd jobs to make ends meet and make life more interesting, which included crunching numbers as a bookkeeper, folding onesies at Baby Gap, selling t-shirts and CDs at concerts, and changing diapers at a daycare center.
As I entered my thirties, I realized that I had something to say on a topic very personal: dating. It seems everyone in my life had something to say about why I’m still single. Apparently I’m too smart, too funny, too fat, too tall, too successful, too loud, too obnoxious, too intimidating, too boring… and the list goes on. I realized that with all the voices around me, I had to somehow find my own.
If you’re in your thirties, chances are you’ve heard of the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye -- a Christian handbook on dating/courting that sold millions of copies in the ’90s. Just like everyone else in my youth group, I read it. And truth be told, there are some great insights in this book. But as I get older I realize how highly impractical it is. You see, my parents aren’t arranging my marriage (as much as I actually wouldn’t mind it). I live on my own, have my own job, pay my own bills, and I make my own decisions — including who I meet and date. But with each new wrinkle, each new body ache and each new dimple of cellulite, I realize the odds are slim that Mr. Right will just walk into my life! Dating is not something I can afford to just “kiss goodbye”… it’s a necessity if I ever want to make it down that elusive aisle.
For now, I embark daily on my personal adventure — putting myself out there, trying to accept myself and others for who we truly are, and trusting God to take me through it all with grace.But it ain’t easy! Between online dating, speed dating, bars, clubs, church, work, the gym, and my coffee run each morning… meeting guys doesn’t get much harder than it is right now. And to make it even tougher, I have this annoying habit of not compromising my beliefs and morals. I believe it’s possible to date with integrity in the 21st century, and I believe (perhaps naively) that I will meet my future husband one day. Because really, the goal is to go from kissing my date goodnight… to finally kissing him good morning.
Thanks for taking this journey with me, as I try my best to navigate life, faith, and the thirty-something dating scene.