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Anti-Bullying Month, appearance, beauty, bullying, calories, CBS WKBT News, compassion, exercise, fat, Jennifer Livingston, kindness, mean, obesity, October, office space, overweight, Psalm 139, Ron Livingston, scale, ugly
I have a new hero in life.
Her name is Jennifer Livingston.
Jennifer and I have a lot in common. We both like chocolate, show tunes and softball. She’s a TV journalist, and at one point during college I wanted to be one, too. And we’ve both been bullied for being overweight.
Jennifer, an Emmy Award-winning reporter, recently received this email from a viewer:
It’s unusual that I see your morning show, but I did so for a very short time today. I was surprised indeed to witness that your physical condition hasn’t improved for many years. Surely you don’t consider yourself a suitable example for this community’s young people, girls in particular. Obesity is one of the worst choices a person can make and one of the most dangerous habits to maintain. I leave you this note hoping that you’ll reconsider your responsibility as a local public personality to present and promote a healthy lifestyle.
Even though I’m reminded of it everyday, I’m still sometimes shocked by how mean people can be. I’ve been in Jennifer’s shoes. I’ve been made fun of, laughed at, teased because of my weight. Normally I just shrug it off or go home and cry. But Jennifer — a mother of three young daughters — didn’t just sit back and take it. She showed true courage by responding to that viewer — on air. Watch her response here:
Beauty.
Grace.
Wisdom.
I’m proud of Jennifer. These words needed to be said. And the positive response and support has been astounding. Millions of YouTube hits, an invitation to The Ellen Show, and thousands of comments supporting Jennifer and her message.
But Rome wasn’t built in a day, folks. The negative comments still roll in, even after Jennifer so gracefully stood up for victims of bullying everywhere. And it’s heartbreaking.
One Gawker commenter writes:
This is a hijacking of the whole bullying uproar. Being fat is unlike being gay, ugly, or having a different skin color. It’s something you change in 1 month. So sack up and do it. Also, the email didn’t ridicule her for being fat, it just brought to her attention that her presence on TV lends to accepting fat as normal. It’s not normal, it’s a problem and it needs to be addressed more than bullying.
Really? Being overweight is something you can change in one month? The lack of compassion and understanding here is unbelievable. To this commenter, I say: If only it took just 30 days to become a kind person… there might be hope for you.
Jennifer appeared on the Today show yesterday to share her story and insights. She said, “I think that’s been the downside of the Internet. People can just put out what they want with anonymity and never have any responsibility for what they’re saying … It’s so easy to be cruel when we should try to focus on being kind.“
Amen, sister.
Like I said, people haven’t always been kind to me about my appearance. I’ve heard harsh words — even from my own family. It hurts. That’s why this next piece of news put a huge smile on my face. Jennifer’s brother, Ron, is “extremely proud” of his sister. He said, “My sister Jennifer… brings an exceptional dedication to her job, her family, and her community, and has been a role model of mine for many, many years.”
That kind of support can change a girl’s life.
Oh, and did I mention that her brother is Ron Livingston, of Office Space fame?
Gosh, I love that!
Jennifer, you may never read this… but I want you to know that your words really inspired me. To hear that — coming from a successful journalist and a loving wife and mother — means so much. I’m counting calories. I’m going on evening walks. I’m trying to live a healthier lifestyle. But you reminded me that “I am much more than a number on a scale.” I’m defined by my character, by the way I treat others, and by the simple fact that I am a precious child of God. And by all these definitions, Jennifer, you are beautiful.
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.”
Psalm 139:14
~Ruth
P.S. If you agree, show Jennifer your support! She’s on Twitter: @news8jennifer.
27 y Contando said:
Qué gente tan irrespetuosa, indecente y grosera. ¿Quién se cree que es ese tipo para criticar y juzgar así a esa mujer? De verdad que algo está mal con la sociedad, muchas personas tienen equivocado el concepto de libertad de expresión. La gente vale por quien es, no por lo que pesa, como se ve, cuánto gana, sino por la cantidad de amor, compasión y respeto que deja a su paso por el mundo. Gracias por compartir esta historia Ruth. Recibe un fuerte abrazo de esta gran admiradora de tu hermosa alma. =)
Ruth Rutherford said:
Bien dicho! Creo que lo dijo mejor cuando dijo “amante de tu alma!” No es un hermoso concepto? Que no podria juzgar a los demas or su apariencia … sino por LO QUE SON. (FOR WHO THEY ARE!) Esta es mi esperanza para el mundo. Muchas gracias por sus amables palabras y por leer y comentar! You’re the best.
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Sallie said:
I sooooo want to agree with you here. But I have to call foul on Jennifer’s reaction, which in my opinion was disproportionate to the email. I was quite stunned that she called the viewer who wrote in “a bully”. A bully is someone who displays malicious behavior. The guy was simply asking a public figure to consider being more socially responsible. It’s hard for me to have a problem with that. I agree 100% that we are more than a number on a scale. I agree 100% that the woman seems to have a multitude of positive attributes. And, hello, she is beautiful to boot! I also agree that a few of the lines the viewer wrote were pretty tactless. But the man did not lash out at her. He did not call her names. He did not threaten her. He did nothing other than ask her to “reconsider (her) responsibility as a local public personality to present and promote a healthy lifestyle”. if someone was smoking on air and received a similar email and responded in a similar way, would he/she have elicited the same “positive” feedback that Jennifer did?
Ruth Rutherford said:
Thanks for your comment Sallie. But I disagree on so many levels. What does weight have to do with social responsibility? Especially from a news reporter? Jennifer never claimed to be a fitness expert. She just showed up every day to deliver the news — and she did that well (Emmy Award!). Her weight should have nothing to do with it. If society is so hung up on only seeing news anchors that are “hot” by media standards (a la the short skirts on FOX News), then that’s THEIR problem, not Jennifer’s. Anyway, like you said, Jennifer is beautiful!
As for whether this was bullying or not — it 100% was. A stranger wrote to someone just to tell her he did not like her outward appearance. Wow. If that’s not bullying, what is? It wasn’t her family, her friends, someone who genuinely cared about her health. It was a stranger that thought her weight was a bad message to send to viewers. This is Bullying 101. Pretty standard stuff — but extremely hurtful, nonetheless.
Sallie said:
The viewer never said that newscasters are supposed to be “hot” and wear short skirts. The viewer said that Jennifer has a social responsibility to set a healthy example. Instead of lashing out at him, she could use her platform to show the ways in which she is building a healthier lifestyle, influencing her viewers that may battle with the same things. Heck, she wouldn’t even have to air it on TV! She could just promote it at the end of her newscast and post a few YouTube videos. If we normalize an unhealthy lifestyle (whether it be smoking, obesity, promiscuity, etc), we set up society for all kinds of problems. That’s not conjecture. People (especially kids and teens) are influenced by what they see on T.V. If Jennifer was wearing overtly sexual clothing, would it have been ok for someone to write in and voice his/her concern that young viewers will see this as normal and try to emulate her?
Ruth Rutherford said:
Well, Sallie, I guess we’re just gonna continue to disagree on this. I think her standing up the way she did IS an amazing example to so many kids, teens, ADULTS watching. I know that I would LOVE for my niece and nephews to see this video — so they can understand that it’s not okay to make fun of another person’s appearance. Apparently you and I disagree on a basic issue here: I don’t think it’s wrong to be overweight; you do. Plus, as she stated, she knows she’s overweight. It’s her personal struggle. (And need I remind you, she has given birth to three kids!) Coming from someone who knows what this struggle is like — it’s not something we take lightly, it is something we’d like to change, and that change does not come easily.
Thanks for joining the discussion anyway. You’ll find on Jennifer’s Facebook page that there are, in fact, many who agree with your point of view.
Sallie said:
I don’t think it is wrong to be overweight. I never said that. What I said was that she has a chance to set an example. I also never said I thought it was easy to lose weight. Ive actually been there and it is a struggle constantly to this day to maintain health. You are right: we will have to agree to disagree. But one question, if we are “more than just a number on a scale” and if it’s ” not ok to make fun of someone’s appearance” why are there so many examples of people that laud Jennifer’s position communicating with such disdain about thin people? It is quite hypocritical. One point we can agree on in this whole subject: we (everyone!) are so much more than our dress sizes.
Lori McClure (@lorimcspeaks) said:
I totally agree with you! This was just another example of how people pick and choose what is acceptable and what is not based upon completely subjective reasoning. We are all human beings worthy of respect. Why is it so easy for people to pick out certain areas where discrimination and hate are okay just because they have an email address? What does her weight have to do with anything here? She is somehow not intelligent and capable in her field because of her dress size? Ridiculous. We all have areas in our life in which we would not welcome public scrutiny. The internet has created a vitriolic climate on many issues, and this is a prime example of how ignorance has become celebrated. Of course, this is bullying.
Ruth Rutherford said:
Great insights, Lori. “We all have areas in our life in which we would not welcome public scrutiny. The internet has created a vitriolic climate on many issues, and this is a prime example of how ignorance has become celebrated. Of course, this is bullying.” So well said! Thanks for sharing…
Kathy Mizen said:
Excellent! Thanks for sharing Ruth. I’ve seen a lot of people posting on facebook but wasn’t really following this story. I’m blown away that someone would even write that to her… to anyone. I mean really!?!?
I loved Jennifer’s closing remark ‘the cruel words of one are nothing compared the shouts of many!’ Good for her for standing up!
Ruth Rutherford said:
Right? Who would have the audacity to even send that email?! People have way too much time on their hands…
I loved Jennifer’s closing remark, too. She really is a role model!
Marilyn said:
“It’s something you can change in one month so sack up and do it” got to me. That was obviously said by a thin person that has never had to work to get weight off. Big women are just as beautiful, and sometimes more, than little women. I’m so proud of her for standing up to this bullying!
Ruth Rutherford said:
I’m proud of her too! She’s scheduled to be on The Ellen Show this Tuesday. Tune in!
stephenedwards425 said:
Reblogged this on LifeRevelation and commented:
The woman featured in this post shows grace, maturity, and a wonderful ability to see what others might miss. Take some time read this post and then watch the video. But that’s not all…let’s all of us take a moment and look at our words, actions, and thoughts to determine if occasionally we don’t slip up, and while maybe not intentionally, conduct ourselves in a way that could harm another.
Thanks for taking the time to read my blurb, as well as this post.
Be encouraged!
Ruth Rutherford said:
Beautiful words, Stephen! Love hearing this from a man’s point of view. And your challenge hit me hard — I, too, must take a look at my words, actions, and even thoughts. Thanks for the reminder.
Encouraged by you!
stephenedwards425 said:
Ruth, in all honesty there are times when being a man is just plain embarrassing…my gender seems hell bent on acting like an idiot and then wondering why we struggle so much in our relationships with others…can you imagine being married to the person who wrote the letter?…God forbid you might gain a pound or two, or have a strand of hair out of place, or express empathy for a person waging an epic battle with addiction…do you wonder what the person who wrote the letter looks like?…Hmmm.
Be encouraged!
cessieconquerror said:
Reblogged this on iamCESS.
yogawithmaheshwari said:
It’s always so shocking to me that people feel they have the right to judge others in this way. Who cares if it’s changeable in a month, a year, a lifetime?? Why does one person get to put down or judge another for what they think is the ‘right’ way to be?
Ruth Rutherford said:
It really is shocking. You’d think that after it happens so much around us, we wouldn’t be shocked by it, right? But I think it’s such an indecency that we continue to be taken off guard — by how someone could do that?! Glad to know I’m not alone in feeling this… You’re a kind soul!
Jennifer M. said:
I’m a million years late but this story got my attention for So many reasons. I’m so proud she stood up for herself and that her husband is so supportive- people can really just be clueless. – To stick with the theme of the blog, As someone who has lost well over 100 lbs I’ve been on both sides of the fence as far as dating goes. I have to say I really miss dating as the heavier me- being more in the ‘target demographic’ for the all too many superficial men out there is NOT the positive I thought it would be- it’s harder to tell who the real and genuine guys are, who maybe actually noticed I have eyes and a heart and a personality. this isn’t an ain’t it awful post and I am not complaining… I wouldn’t go back and change things, I feel I am healthier and like myself a little bit more but I definitely wish I had had this kind of confidence pre weight loss (and the supportive husband too but don’t get me started!) I saw her on Ellen- hope her and her husband enjoy their free tropical vacation and that the writer of that email has learned a thing or two. Still hoping to see DC in the Fall! Your latest post has me convinced I have to! =)
Ruth Rutherford said:
Wow. Your perspective about being in the “target demographic” is so enlightening. It’s hard enough to know if a guy likes you… let alone to have that comparison of before/after to deal with. You should write a book! Riveting stuff.
Jennifer’s story is so inspiring. And her supportive husband — how sexy is he?! Oh, to have a man like that. What a great guy. And he got an amazing woman. Great story!
Thanks so much for reading.
P.S. Congrats on your weight loss. Inspires me to keep on truckin’!