Tags
dating, pressure, marriage, engagement, friendship, proposal, competition, war between women, girl fight, females, engaged, will you marry me, The Knot, wedding, diamond ring, mothers, mom wars
My friend got engaged this weekend. We sort of knew it was coming. They’d talked about getting married. She and I had even stopped by at a few jewelry stores to try on engagement rings for… you know… ideas. Just last weekend we laughed while sitting on her couch as we perused The Knot website because she was morphing into that very girl I made fun of — the girl who plans her wedding before she’s engaged. I have to admit it. I actually enjoyed looking at centerpiece ideas.
Even though I knew it was inevitable, I was still surprised when she told me he’d proposed. My heart immediately filled with excitement for her. The ring! The story! The guy! The undeniable joy she was feeling! And I was happy, too. Genuinely, truly happy.
So why, if I am so happy for her, do I still feel that little twinge of loneliness? Not the run-of-the-mill, everyday loneliness that I feel just because I’m single. Not even the loneliness I feel on holidays designed for couples, like Valentines and New Years Eve. But the kind of loneliness that creeps in when you start to question if it will ever happen to you.
She reads this blog, you know. Because she’s a great friend who supports what I do. And here I go, talking about how I’m jealous of her and her newfound happiness. I’m a terrible friend.
Oddly, you know what she’ll do when she reads this post? She’ll tell me she loves me. She’ll tell me I’m a great writer and I was just being honest, and that’s what great writers do. And she’ll tell me that I’ll meet the perfect man for me one day. She’ll say all those things because she’s a good friend.
You probably don’t believe me when I say that I am very happy for her. Because how could I really be happy for her and jealous of her at the same time? That doesn’t make sense.
Listen. I can’t explain it. But it’s the truth.
And this isn’t the first time it has happened.
For women, it’s always been about the competition. And I hate it.
- We compete for men.
- We compete to keep up with other women.
- We compete to have the best bodies, the shiniest hair, the smoothest skin.
- We compete to convince men to date us, to marry us.
- We compete to have the sparkliest diamond rings and the most glamorous weddings.
- We compete to be the most beautiful, magazine-cover-worthy brides.
- We compete to get married by a certain age, to have children by a certain age.
- We compete to be the best moms, the ones that use organic peanut butter and pack our kids’ school lunches every day.
- We compete to breastfeed for at least two years, because that’s what the latest mommy magazines say is right.
- We compete to be successful career women, to climb the corporate ladder and show the men who’s boss.
- We compete to volunteer the most in the community.
- We compete to get the best solos on the church worship team.
- We compete to have our kids attend the best colleges.
- We compete against society’s standards of how we should look and what we should be doing.
And here’s the kicker:
- We compete against our own biological clocks.
That last one’s got me falling behind on all counts. How will I possibly squeeze in all of the above and still fit baby making into the next eight years of my life, which I’m told (sometimes by complete strangers) are all that’s left of my prime childbearing years?
Sigh.
I will never win in this war between women. Frankly, none of us will. So today I’m choosing to count myself out of the fight. I choose to step out of the ring and throw off my gloves. Now don’t get me wrong — I’m only human. There will be days I fall victim to useless time- and energy-wasters like jealousy, envy, and hatred. But I will try my best not to. That’s the choice I’m making.
What I want is to be a good friend. I want to support the people I love in both their joys and in their trials. I want to grab hold of who I am today, where I am today — and live.
I am a single, 32-year-old writer.
I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt.
I am a worshipper. I am a child of God.
And I am a friend… who is very, very happy for my friend. Feeling slightly lonely, yes, but choosing to be happy, thankful and hopeful.
What choice will you make today?
~Ruth
Lore Ferguson (@loreferguson) said:
Always loving what you write. Always.
Ruth Rutherford said:
Thank you, Lore!
Wandering Voiceless said:
Gosh, we do do that don’t we? There’s another good blog about this, too. I will try to remember to find it… in a minute.
For now, it’s posts like this that inspired me to nominate you for the Reader’s Appreciation Award. You can check it out at http://wanderingvoiceless.com/2012/08/27/awww-shucks-another-award/.
You may freely choose to accept or ignore this Award. :>
Ruth Rutherford said:
Yes, absolutely send me that blog post if you can track it down…
Thanks!
Wandering Voiceless said:
I think this is the one I was thinking of:
http://yoonanimous.com/2012/07/26/not-having-it-all/
… the approach is different, but I think it’s part of the same conversation. :>
Kadeen said:
Don’t worry just yet. My mom’s 39 this year and she and her husband only got married last spring. Apparently he was in love with her since high school, but they only reconnected about 4 years ago. So there’s lots of tiime left and someone looking at you who might not have even noticed.
Ruth Rutherford said:
Well that’s a sweet story! I just can’t imagine any boys being in love with me since high school. I was the class clown and had an unnatural affinity for overalls. Oh dear. But thanks for the encouragement.
Kadeen said:
LOL! You’re welcome! In addition think of all the time you’ll have on your hands now that you don’t have so many competitions to take part in
bertha said:
IT COULD BE WORSE WE COULD HAVE HAD BAD MARRIAGES THAT ENDED BITTERLY KNOWING WE ARE THE BRIDE OF CHRIST IS ENOUGH AND THEN ONE DAY THAT DAY THE WEDDING WILL COME but thanks i needed this article
michael said:
Very commendable. I hope this is widely read.
Ruth Rutherford said:
Thanks, Michael! Always great to have some male perspective on here…
Kristy said:
Good words; I can *totes* relate. I sometimes have to remind myself that the happiness we feel for our friends and the sadness/longing we feel for ourselves are not mutually exclusive – one does not cancel or negate the other. “We contain multitudes” as Whitman said. We just need to choose how to navigate that tension of the two very real emotions existing at once.
Ruth Rutherford said:
Wow, love that! Whitman had it right. The polarized emotions can exist at the same time. We are such complex beings! Love your reminder about choosing how to “navigate the tension of the two very real emotions existing at once.” I’ll have to keep that in mind… Thank you!
Joanna said:
I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL! My best friend got married earlier this month. Most beautiful, most difficult wedding I’ve been to. Then this weekend she got her pictures in and while I’m sitting there looking through them, I’m bawling. Because 1. They are SO beautiful, 2. because she is SO happy and 3. because I am SO lonely. I agree with Kristy, these feelings are not mutually exclusive. I can be 100% happy for my friend and 100% lonely. And like you, I CHOOSE to be happy and I CHOOSE to trust that one day I will get the beautiful wedding and the happy ending. In the mean time.. I will relate to this: ( I couldn’t find the video clip)
Rachel: Isn’t it incredible?! Monica and Chandler, gettin’ married.
Phoebe: I know, they’re gonna be so happy together.
Rachel: Ohh… I mean two best friends falling in love, how often does that happen?
Phoebe: Not that often!
Rachel: No! I’m so happy for them!
Phoebe: Me too! So happy for them!
Rachel: I’m so happy and not at all jealous.
Phoebe: Oh no! No God, definitely not jealous!
(They both take a drink of coffee.)
Rachel: I mean I’m probably 98% happy, maybe 2% jealous. And I mean what’s 2%? That’s nothing.
Phoebe: Totally. I’m like 90/10.
Rachel: Yeah me too.
Ruth Rutherford said:
Ha! Love that “clip” from Friends. I swear, I could live off reruns of Friends, Seinfeld and King of Queens… and be fine if there were nothing else on TV at all.
I have been exactly where you were — looking at the photo albums, laughing, crying, rejoicing, moping. I always take it a step further too (just because I’m a planner!) and end up helping with all the little wedding details. In a way I feel like it’s my way of expressing the support I can’t always express verbally. But in a way it’s probably because I’d love to do all that for my own wedding.
We walk a fine line, Joanna. But I can tell that your attitude will take you places. Hopefully those places involve a church and a reception and a honeymoon in Barbados. But, only time will tell. Thanks so much for reading and commenting… always appreciate your insight.
Joanna said:
I find that there is a friends situation for all stations in life… definitely good for comic relief
I know all about helping with the details! Which in turn has driven me to “planning” to elope 
I’ll keek Barbados and leave the rest 
here be dragons said:
Ha ha! So true!
Marilyn said:
I loved the FRIENDS reference here (huge fan) and I can totally relate to being so happy but yet jealous because I wonder if my day will ever come. I like the choosing to be happy and trusting that God will grant my heart’s wish one day. Joanna, I loved your comment and Ruth, great post once again! You inspire me.
Ruth Rutherford said:
Thanks, Marilyn. That means a lot!
Happiness is a choice. I’m learning that more and more every day. We can be happy in any circumstance… or we can let our circumstances rule our emotions.
Ruth G said:
I know which friend you are talking about and I am happy for her too. I get the same little twinge, though… I like what Kristy said above ‘they are not mutually exclusive’. I got the same thing when my best friend got engaged (who is a year younger than I am). I really AM happy for them (and I believe you that you are too), but there is that other feeling too… Like you said, it is our choice to make: whether to stay with it and wallow in the feeling of what we don’t have, or to acknowledge it and *then* choose to be happy with who and where we are right now.
You are not alone in this feeling, and it is nice to know that I am not either.
Ruth Rutherford said:
Thanks, Ruth! I think what you said here is so important: “to ACKNOWLEDGE IT and *then* choose to be happy with who and where we are right now.” So many times we don’t acknowledge it. We just pretend we’re not feeling certain emotions. I’m no therapist, but that can’t be healthy in the long run. Plus, it’s basically saying it’s not okay to feel lonely or sad or to long for certain things. The truth is it’s perfectly normal. It’s the “how we deal with it” stuff that can set us apart.
Love that so many people can relate to this. And… hey… love your name!
kmizen said:
Wow I can so relate to this. This has happened to me twice in the past couple of years. Other people just don’t get it and then I feel like a horrible person. I am truly happy for my friends, but yes that jealousy just creeps in. Sometimes I hate being a girl
Emotions swinging all over the place.
Great to read this and the above comments, to know we are not alone!!
Ruth Rutherford said:
The community really is refreshing, isn’t it? There are so many in the same boat as us — we just might start sinking!
You shouldn’t feel like a horrible person because you feel emotions. It’s natural. Now if you were to go all “Bride Wars” and sabotage your friend’s happiness, that’s another story. But, we all know that’s not what we’re talking about here.
(That film was so crazy!)
Many thanks.
marla said:
totally can relate. i think there are a lot of women in their 30′s who prefer to be married. the thing that is the most frustrating about the marriage thing, is that it somehow taints our lives and tricks us into being ungrateful. we have so much freedom and so many blessings. maybe God wants us to help others around us – we are the people who can see outside of ourselves because we aren’t chasing around 4 kids… so i guess that’s good.
this is a favorite scripture of mine — “let us acheerfully bdo all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the csalvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.” doctrine & covenants 123:17.
and to look on an even brighter side, 32 is practically a child. 8 years til 40. i wish i could say that.
marla said:
ps i hope this didn’t sound preachy, i appreciate you sharing your feelings so openly and honestly; it’s very brave. it’s just something i’ve thought about a lot in my lifetime
Ruth Rutherford said:
That’s a good perspective that I need to remind myself of. Being single gives me so many opportunities and freedoms that others don’t have — because of their obligations in relationships and parenting. I get that. I just don’t see myself as the person that will let my marriage and children stop me from helping others anyway. I’m probably naive. Isn’t it super easy to take care of a baby? Just just change their diapers and give them food? Ha ha. I hope you know I’m kidding! Just hopelessly idealistic.
marla said:
i think because of what we’ve been through as single women, we WILL have that perspective to reach out and help others even though we will be chasing kids around … i guess there is no other way to get that experience and to be more sensitive to those around us.
Emily said:
“Oddly, you know what she’ll do when she reads this post? She’ll tell me she loves me. She’ll tell me I’m a great writer and I was just being honest, and that’s what great writers do. And she’ll tell me that I’ll meet the perfect man for me one day. She’ll say all those things because she’s a good friend.”
You know me well, friend, because this is exactly what I am going to do. Only, I won’t say them just because I am a good friend, but because I truly believe them about you! I admire your honesty and your way with words. I have felt that loneliness and wondered if God was ever going to answer my prayer. My dad sent me an email yesterday reminding me that a few months before I met “the one”, I told him that I was never going to get married (man, I must have gone on some really bad dates before that emotional outburst).
So I share that just to say that I am really thankful for your friendship and your support. Truly, you are a godsend. You are also a great example to me. You see, I was in this scenario (on the flip side) about a year and half ago, and I lost a good friend over it. Granted, there was a history of a rocky friendship, but the jealousy and my own issues (among other things between us) got the best of our friendship and we had to let go of it because it was toxic.
I love you friend! We need to plan another get-together!
Ruth Rutherford said:
So we’re still friends? Phew! Ha ha. Don’t worry, I never thought we wouldn’t be.
I love that your dad reminded you of that. I feel like my dad will do the same, because Lord knows I’ve said those words a time or two before. “Maybe I’ll just stay single and be the ‘cool aunt’ the rest of my life.” Feel free to quote that one during the speech you give at my wedding reception.
Jealousy can be toxic. That’s why I felt I had to write this post. Because what I’m feeling is real, and I want to avoid it ever becoming toxic. And I think that’s a choice we all have to make. From all these comments (and from your personal experience), I can see I’m not alone in these feelings. The great thing is, we can learn from each other and grow through these trying times. There is hope in that!
You know I love you, girl! Happy for you and can’t wait to celebrate this exciting time in your life with you. Although, I will truly miss my speed dating partner in crime.
WHO can I convince to go through that torture with me now?
Emily said:
Lol. I’m going to miss speed dating (just don’t tell Dan). That is one of the best social experiments EVER.
And I think that eHarmony owes me some sort of refund or a commercial or something. It took 5+ years of their services to hook me up with the right guy.
Ruth Rutherford said:
You MUST apply to be on one of their commercials! You guys make the cutest couple. They would choose you in a heartbeat. Oh my goodness — Dan would be so embarrassed. Let’s do it! (Sending in application now.)
CristinaK said:
Not Only your dad. I WILL TOO! How many time have I said: LIVE YR LIFE! HE will come! (and I’m not talking about Jesus’ 2nd coming). Here’s the thing, after reading this blog, I’ve discovered that nowadays I might just not be a woman. At least not one like the ones you’ve pictured so well. I’m different. I did not want to get married, I do not want to have any kids, and I definitely don’t compete with nobody. I just live my life. Yes; I learn about the goods and the bads that happen to other people. But That’s all. See.. growing up in a Church were everybody gossiped about everybody and everything, made me like this. And it’s good! Cause I just waste my time living my life. And now that I’m with somebody that cares about me… well…. it’s good! But it’s not so good. jajajaja..-. that you may know already: women are hard to satisfy. But then, who isn’t?. So Ruth, agreeing 100 % with the words your friend Emily wrote so well, I too believe that the one will come. Just live meanwhile. Get ready. Enjoy. Besos!
Ruth Rutherford said:
I actually know a lot of women who don’t want to get married. And I know a lot who say they don’t want to get married, and then ten years later are dying to be married. We’re so fickle that way! I’m sorry that your experience in church was a downer. I promise not every church is like that (and it’s not how God wants it to be, either!). I do agree that living life is important — not dwelling on what “could” be or “might” come. And competing with other women? That’s definitely not helping matters! Thanks for your comments. Y besos!!!
hopefulleigh said:
I completely get this, Ruth. It’s entirely possible to feel both emotions at once. For me, I don’t think it’s as much of a jealousy thing anymore as it is a loss of solidarity. Once you reach your 30s and are still single, it helps to have friends in the same boat. And while you’re genuinely happy when one of those friends finds someone, it’s hard, too, because they’re moving on so to speak and you aren’t. Really, there’s no rhyme or reason as to why some of us are single and some are married. When a friend gets engaged, you have to rehash everything all over again until you can get back to that place of contentment.
Ruth Rutherford said:
That’s a great point. I’m losing my “sistas” left and right. YES, we’re still friends after they get hitched, but it’s never really the same. Like I mentioned in an above comment, this particular friend was my go-to “wing man” for dating stuff — like speed dating! Who will I take now? Do you have any plans this weekend?
Love your honesty, as always.
Elizabeth said:
I am right there with you. I completely understand! This has happened to me multiple time. The latest incident isn’t a girlfriend, but family. My youngest cousin is getting married in a couple of weeks. He is the youngest of the 7 of us and he is “beating” me to the altar. I am thrilled for him and for his bride, but there is a twinge of jealousy. I think the key is to not let it overwhelm you, which can be much easier said than done.
Ruth Rutherford said:
Oh yeah. I love when the youngin’s get hitched. I went to TWO weddings this summer of friends in their early 20s. I mean, really, God? REALLY?! You’re right, though. Not letting it overwhelm us is easier said than done. We just have to stick together and keep going! I know for me, just reading all these comments and knowing I’m not alone is really encouraging me today. So thank you!
haileyjw said:
Great post Ruth. I assure you this is a completely universal feeling. And I am most certainly on your side about it. Thanks
Ruth Rutherford said:
Glad to have your support!
Maureen said:
Ruth – Thank you!
I have been in awful relationship after awful relationship meanwhile watching my fantastic friends find love and marriage. I adore them all and cannot put into words how happy I am for them and how grateful I am to God for guiding them to happiness. But I too find that when I find out they’re engaged I feel Aso lonely. I love that we can admit that as women to one another though. There is nothing wrong with wanting that love for ourselves – actually that is how God made us! There is a fantastic book titled Captivating that talks about this yearning to find love. I find comfort in that and that we are not alone … We’re all in this together – with God guiding us
Ruth Rutherford said:
Thanks Maureen. I’m sorry to hear that some of your past relationships have been awful, and can completely understand why you might ask “When’s my turn?” when you see others happy in love and marriage. I’m right there with you! I, too, love the community we can find with other women experiencing the same thing. It’s the opposite of the “competitive nature” I described in the blog. We’re supporting each other rather than tearing each other down. I love that.
I’ll have to check out that book!
Blanca said:
Well friend, I am right there with you! Two of my friends got engaged about 2 weeks ago, and as happy I am for both of them,I can’t stop from feeling a bit “blue”… and needless to say I have 7 weddings to go to next year… that “blue” feeling will be sticking around longer… le sigh! :/ But I will choose to be happy, and choose to stay positive.. our time shall come!
Ruth Rutherford said:
SEVEN weddings to attend? Are you kidding me?!
Love your attitude. I don’t think I’d be that positive with so many weddings to sit through… no matter how much I love wedding cake!
Jennifer said:
PIVOT!!!! Sorry….it’s just my favorite FRIENDS reference of all time….. I coincidentally just bought the entire boxed set….I have been there and can totally relate- how awesome it is that God in His wisdom created us with the ability to feel more than one emotion at one time. I hate to think of who I would be if I couldn’t be happy for you and sad for me all in one moment =) In the past two weeks I’ve had two married friends say basically the same thing to me “Can we trade lives?” – I could sense they were totally overwhelmed…with things I often long to be overwhelmed with…. I’m thankful for the reminder that no matter what season of life we are in Satan’s job is to try to steal, kill and destroy- he will steal our enjoyment of the current season we’re in, killl a dream or destroy a friendship- that’s his job and ours is to be on guard….it’s difficult at times that is for sure. I wish I lived closer….I’d be at speed dating with you even if I was married- I can’t imagine the stories! =)
Ruth Rutherford said:
Love that couch moving scene! Simply hilarious. I’m laughing just thinking about it. I love Ross.
So well said, Jennifer. “No matter what season of life we are in, Satan’s job is to try to steal, kill and destroy.” Wow. That really brings it home. We can’t give him that power. We have to make the choice to overcome and push through it. After all, liek you said, there is so much enjoyment to be experienced in our current season of life!
Oh boy. If you are ever in the D.C. area, I will take you up on that offer, girl! We will make history together, all in mini-speed dates of 7 minutes or less! Ha ha.
David Stone (@diggs808) said:
I’m a guy and I feel that same happy / slightly lonely feeling when a friend gets engaged. Recently, I’ve come to a realization… That feeling is pretty fleeting…or at least celebration helps to alleviate it. So, when a friend gets engaged, and the wedding comes along I celebrate my heart out. When one of my best friends got engaged and married last year, I was his best man….and I spent the weekend forgetting everything but that word: celebration. I had one of the best weekends I have ever had by simply choosing happiness and it’s inevitable outpouring. Celebrating and making good memories.
Side note: thank you for your honesty. It’s awesome.
Ruth Rutherford said:
Good outlook. Just have fun celebrating with them! I’m pretty much in the same boat. I can usually feel super happy for my friends achieving their life milestones… Just dance off any frustration at the reception, right? I just don’t think it’s healthy to completely ignore my own, real emotions, either. But like you said, “that feeling is pretty fleeting.” Hopefully I can learn to keep it that way!
Thanks for your honesty as well! Great to have some input from guys on here.
Nicole said:
I find myself praying for you Ruth. Although we have never met, I feel I’ve gotten to know you a little bit through your writings. I am 29 and single, surrounded by a group of 20 & 30 something singles…many of them virgins…all trying to do God’s will. NONE of us thought we would be single THIS long. I often think, it would have been easier to walk this out had I not had the EXPECTATION of marriage. My story is a little different than yours (I believe, since I don’t really know your whole story). I was in a very serious relation in my late teens to early 20s (engaged even) and God ended the relationship, as it was unhealthy and not the right fit for me. In the last 7 years of singleness I’ve grown, matured and transformed into the woman He created me to be. That being said, it’s still not easy. Love was awakened and I’ve had to learn how to walk with God after such a thing occurred…yet even my friends who have never been in a serious relationship struggle with not having this desire met. God has us. Everyday He has us. But it is my belief He is using this very thing to test us. To show our love for Him. That we would wait for the BEST that He has for us. It’s not easy, but I’m told that one day it will be worth it. I’m looking forward to the day I get to read your blog and you have blogged all about God’s BEST for you and how your waiting was worth it. Stay encouraged
Ruth Rutherford said:
I can’t tell you how much your prayer means to me. Thank you! I will pray for you, too.
Sounds like you’ve surrounded yourself with some pretty cool people. I think that’s so important. To be encouraged by one another, to be held accountable. Because you’re right… it’s not easy. I have my doubts, I have my struggles… and I have my mountaintop moments, too. All put out here on my blog for all to read. And strangely, I feel like you’re part of my community too. And I’m thankful for that support!
“God has us. Everyday He has us.” Thanks for the encouragement today. Needed it!
Summer said:
Alright I suppose it’s time to post on here!
I read this when you first wrote it and it struck to the heart of the matter….I LOVE celebrating with my friends when they get married/engaged, but also battle that inner turmoil.
Just last month I was a bridesmaid for a dear friend and for the first time I was truly happy just being single ole’ me! And the contentment was glorious…..even if it was my 6th wedding as a bridesmaid! And now….I just received news that another close friend of mine became engaged and would like me to be in her wedding. Just 20 more weddings and I can compete with Jane in 27 Dresses!!!! I am thrilled for this friend and even was able to share my “I told you so” with her (we all saw this one coming!!!)..but then once alone, the reality hits that I’m almost 32 and single. I suppose it didn’t help any that at church this morning someone kindly mentioned that she is praying for a spouse for me because I’m apparently “just too sweet not to have been snatched up already”! HA!!! She must not know me very well cause my sarcastic ornery side loves to come out and torture unsuspecting victims!
So as I battled through these conflicting thoughts, I remembered this post you shared and just had to say that you are spot on! It is a competition with self and like you, I am laying down my boxing gloves in this particular competition (hey…if there is ever an ice cream eating competition …the gloves are back on accompanied by the handy dandy spoon into the gallon of deliciousness). Thank you for you vulnerability and honesty…I appreciate it.
Ruth Rutherford said:
Summer! Thanks for commenting!!!
Love your comment about competing with Jane in 27 Dresses. Ha! I adore that film. Good on you for being content being “single ol’ you” as a bridesmaid in your friend’s wedding. That’s as it should be!
As for the church comments, oh dear. I’ve heard all of those before. “I just don’t understand why you’re single!” Yeah, me either! Thanks for being so honest! It’s funny, yes, but it really warms my heart, too. We are not alone in this!
Girl, I will challenge you to that ice cream eating competition. And let me tell ya — you don’t have a chance.
littleduckies said:
You are an amazing writer. I know how you felt when your friend got engaged; I felt the same way when my own best friend(s) got engaged and then married, and I was still single (or engaged and debating whether to make the wedding without my mother, or to wait indefinitely for it to be convenient for her). And my younger sister probably feels the same way today, because her best friend in the whole wide world got engaged.
I think, for that situation, you are probably doing pretty well.
Ruth Rutherford said:
It’s definitely not an easy place to be in. But somehow we all make it through. I think I’ve definitely become more gracious about it all… with age. It’s one of the great things about getting older — things come into perspective more.
Thanks for reading!
littleduckies said:
Some people become more gracious, the older they get; some people do the opposite.
I don’t think anyone has a choice whether or not to make it through, though – the choice is only how.
I am addicted to your blog, by the way.